💤 Thoughts Stopping You from Sleeping?

Kirsten Gowdy
Oct 24
3 min read

Have You Been There?

You wake up in the middle of the night and start replaying that meeting—or that email—over and over again, unable to fall back asleep.

You want to be cozy under the covers, drifting in dreams, but instead your thoughts are spinning, replaying past moments or worrying about what’s ahead.

So frustrating!

Why does this happen—and more importantly, how can we turn it off when it does?

💭 “Our minds want safety, not sleep.” Sometimes rumination is our brain’s way of trying to protect us—even when it keeps us awake.

What Is Rumination?

Ruminating means “to think deeply about something.” The term comes from how cows chew their cud—slowly breaking down food through their multiple stomachs.

For humans, that same kind of mental “chewing” can go too far. At first, rehashing events can help us reflect or problem-solve. But when it becomes excessive, it turns disruptive and draining—and research shows it can worsen anxiety and depression (Psychiatry.org).

In the article Rumination: Why do people obsess over things? several factors can make someone more prone to rumination:

Low self-esteem
External stressors
Lack of perceived control
Past trauma or adverse experiences
Perfectionism
A tendency to overthink or overanalyze

So, what happens when neurodivergent minds get caught in the same loop?

Rumination and the Neurodiverse Mind

Many Autistic individuals describe rumination as a frequent or intense experience.

Possible contributing factors include:

Repetitive behaviors
Cognitive inflexibility
Emotional sensitivity
Sensory processing differences
A need for sameness and predictability
Differences in social processing
Heightened pattern recognition
Negative past experiences

There’s also growing evidence that rumination is common among adults with ADHD.

A 2023 study by Soler-Gutiérrez, Pérez-González, and Mayas suggests it may be a maladaptive aspect of ADHD—one that makes it harder to shift focus, rest, and recover from daily stressors. Once the mind starts looping, it can be tough to let go.

🧠 “Rumination in ADHD isn’t about caring too much—it’s about a brain that struggles to switch gears.”

Why Do We Ruminate?

Whether you’re neurodivergent or not, rumination serves a similar purpose for everyone: it’s the mind’s attempt to make sense of what’s happened—or to prepare for what’s ahead. We ruminate to protect ourselves, to avoid repeating painful experiences, or to feel a sense of control.

Safety, security, and survival are powerful motivators for our beautiful minds, even when they trap us in repetitive loops.

How to Stop the Repetitive Thoughts?

While not all of these can be done from your warm and wonderful bed, they can help disrupt the loop and calm your mind:

Notice and acknowledge your thoughts—without judgment.
Distract yourself by changing tasks or locations.
Decide what you can and can’t control.
Reflect on specific triggers that set off the thoughts.
Practice mindful breathing to ground yourself in the present.
“Brain dump” onto paper—get the thoughts out of your head.
If these thoughts are extreme or persistent, consider therapy or coaching (during daylight hours, of course!).

Daylight Hours: How Coaching Can Help

Working with a coach helps you uncover thought patterns, build self-awareness, and strengthen self-acceptance. Having someone listen nonjudgmentally—without interruption or agenda—can be deeply impactful.

As we work together, I listen for the interpretations or assumptions you may not realize you’re making, and invite reflection on how those thoughts empower or drain you.

By bringing them to light, you start to see how overthinking can take hold—and how awareness creates space for choice. I also pay close attention to your energy patterns throughout the day. Together, we can run “tiny experiments” to explore how mindset, environment, or routine shifts might quiet your thoughts and restore balance.

Often, this work moves you from “Why did that happen?” to “What’s in my control, and how do I want to show up next time?”

🌿 Coaching isn’t about fixing your thoughts—it’s about helping you choose which ones deserve your energy.

Concluding Thoughts

The next time you find yourself awake, processing the day on repeat, take a bold step:

Get out of bed, dump those thoughts onto paper, and do something gentle—read, stretch, or tidy a drawer. Then, when morning comes, reach out.

Let’s start a conversation about how coaching can help you uncover what’s keeping you from rest—and find more peace, clarity, and sleep.

Want to Know More?

Resources

Cirino, E. (2024, June 6). How to stop ruminating. Healthline
Guy-Evans, O. (2024, Dec 4). Autistic rumination: Why it happens and how to manage. Simply Psychology
Rumination: A cycle of negative thinking. (2020, Mar 5). Psychiatry.org
Scott, E. (2023, Jul 20). Rumination: Why do people obsess over things? Verywell Mind
Soler-Gutiérrez, A.M., Pérez-González, J.C., & Mayas, J. (2023). Evidence of emotion dysregulation as a core symptom of adult ADHD: A systematic review. PLoS One, 18(1): e0280131.

Have You Been There?

You wake up in the middle of the night and start replaying that meeting—or that email—over and over again, unable to fall back asleep.

You want to be cozy under the covers, drifting in dreams, but instead your thoughts are spinning, replaying past moments or worrying about what’s ahead.

So frustrating!

Why does this happen—and more importantly, how can we turn it off when it does?

💭 “Our minds want safety, not sleep.” Sometimes rumination is our brain’s way of trying to protect us—even when it keeps us awake.

What Is Rumination?

Ruminating means “to think deeply about something.” The term comes from how cows chew their cud—slowly breaking down food through their multiple stomachs.

For humans, that same kind of mental “chewing” can go too far. At first, rehashing events can help us reflect or problem-solve. But when it becomes excessive, it turns disruptive and draining—and research shows it can worsen anxiety and depression (Psychiatry.org).

In the article Rumination: Why do people obsess over things? several factors can make someone more prone to rumination:

Low self-esteem

External stressors

Lack of perceived control

Past trauma or adverse experiences

Perfectionism

A tendency to overthink or overanalyze

So, what happens when neurodivergent minds get caught in the same loop?

Rumination and the Neurodiverse Mind

Many Autistic individuals describe rumination as a frequent or intense experience.

Possible contributing factors include:

Repetitive behaviors

Cognitive inflexibility

Emotional sensitivity

Sensory processing differences

A need for sameness and predictability

Differences in social processing

Heightened pattern recognition

Negative past experiences

There’s also growing evidence that rumination is common among adults with ADHD.

A 2023 study by Soler-Gutiérrez, Pérez-González, and Mayas suggests it may be a maladaptive aspect of ADHD—one that makes it harder to shift focus, rest, and recover from daily stressors. Once the mind starts looping, it can be tough to let go.

🧠 “Rumination in ADHD isn’t about caring too much—it’s about a brain that struggles to switch gears.”

Why Do We Ruminate?

Whether you’re neurodivergent or not, rumination serves a similar purpose for everyone: it’s the mind’s attempt to make sense of what’s happened—or to prepare for what’s ahead. We ruminate to protect ourselves, to avoid repeating painful experiences, or to feel a sense of control.

Safety, security, and survival are powerful motivators for our beautiful minds, even when they trap us in repetitive loops.

How to Stop the Repetitive Thoughts?

While not all of these can be done from your warm and wonderful bed, they can help disrupt the loop and calm your mind:

Notice and acknowledge your thoughts—without judgment.

Distract yourself by changing tasks or locations.

Decide what you can and can’t control.

Reflect on specific triggers that set off the thoughts.

Practice mindful breathing to ground yourself in the present.

“Brain dump” onto paper—get the thoughts out of your head.

If these thoughts are extreme or persistent, consider therapy or coaching (during daylight hours, of course!).

Daylight Hours: How Coaching Can Help

Working with a coach helps you uncover thought patterns, build self-awareness, and strengthen self-acceptance. Having someone listen nonjudgmentally—without interruption or agenda—can be deeply impactful.

As we work together, I listen for the interpretations or assumptions you may not realize you’re making, and invite reflection on how those thoughts empower or drain you.

Often, this work moves you from “Why did that happen?” to “What’s in my control, and how do I want to show up next time?”

🌿 Coaching isn’t about fixing your thoughts—it’s about helping you choose which ones deserve your energy.

Concluding Thoughts

The next time you find yourself awake, processing the day on repeat, take a bold step:

Get out of bed, dump those thoughts onto paper, and do something gentle—read, stretch, or tidy a drawer. Then, when morning comes, reach out.

Let’s start a conversation about how coaching can help you uncover what’s keeping you from rest—and find more peace, clarity, and sleep.

Want to Know More?

Resources

Cirino, E. (2024, June 6). How to stop ruminating. Healthline

Guy-Evans, O. (2024, Dec 4). Autistic rumination: Why it happens and how to manage. Simply Psychology

Rumination: A cycle of negative thinking. (2020, Mar 5). Psychiatry.org

Scott, E. (2023, Jul 20). Rumination: Why do people obsess over things? Verywell Mind

Soler-Gutiérrez, A.M., Pérez-González, J.C., & Mayas, J. (2023). Evidence of emotion dysregulation as a core symptom of adult ADHD: A systematic review. PLoS One, 18(1): e0280131.

Comments