Where Do You Usually Get Stuck?

Our garden has been overrun by a particular variety of morning glory. In fact, we no longer have to buy it each year. It overwinters in our garden and seems more than happy to come back when spring arrives. This year, it has taken its determination to a whole new level. It has worked its way into several of our garden beds, climbed our fences, wrapped itself around the shepherd's hook, strangled our wind chime, and found just about every dahlia, cosmos, and zinnia within reach.

The morning glory doesn't seem to spend much time wondering what to do next. It finds something to climb, wraps itself around it, and keeps moving toward the sun.

I have to admit, I sometimes envy that. What about you?

Do you set an intention and simply move toward it? Or do you sometimes know exactly what you want—or need—to do and still find yourself stuck?

I know I can look at something on my to-do list and think:

“I know how to do this. So why am I not doing it?”

Sometimes it's something simple, like making a phone call, paying a bill, putting away the laundry, or scheduling an appointment.

Other times, it's something more complicated, like figuring out a meal plan and grocery list for the week, starting a work project, or finally tackling something that's been sitting on your list for far too long.

You may know what needs to happen. You may even know exactly how to do it. And yet, somehow, it doesn't happen.

That's often when my own negative or judgmental self-talk can show up.

Why am I procrastinating again? Why can't I just get started? This isn't that complicated. I should have done it already. What's wrong with me? I really need to be more disciplined.

Maybe you've had some version of those thoughts yourself.  But what if the problem isn't that you don't care?

What if you're not failing at follow-through?

What if you're simply getting stuck somewhere in the process?

Knowing Isn't the Same as Doing

We often talk about getting things done as if it's a simple two-step process:

Know what to do → Do it.

But our brains don't always work that way.

There can be several steps between knowing what needs to happen and actually getting it done.

And you might have difficulty with one step while having very little trouble with another.

You might know exactly what you need to do but struggle to make a plan.

You might have a good plan but be unable to get yourself started.

You might get started easily but lose steam halfway through.

You might be moving along just fine until an interruption throws you completely off course.

And emotions can become part of the process, too. Frustration, boredom, anxiety, overwhelm, or the desire to do something else can make it harder to stay with the task.

The important question isn't always, “Why can't I get this done?”

A more useful question might be:

“Where do I usually get stuck?”

Think about the morning glory for a moment.

It doesn't necessarily have a clear, straight path to the sun. It encounters fences, hooks, other plants, wind chimes, and whatever else happens to be in its way.  But it seems to have a remarkable ability to find something to grab onto.  For us, the path isn't always so obvious.

Sometimes we need to figure out what the next thing is to grab onto.

Where Do You Get Stuck?

Here are some common places where things can break down:

Knowing“I'm not sure what I actually need to do.”

Planning“I know what I want to accomplish, but I don't know where to begin.”

Starting“I know what to do, but I can't get myself going.”

Transitioning“I can't seem to shift from what I'm doing to what I need to do next.”

Sustaining“I started, but I can't seem to keep going.”

Remembering“I intended to do it, but I completely forgot.”

Finishing“I'm almost there, but I just can't seem to get it completed.”

Recovering“One interruption or disruption throws everything off.”

You may recognize yourself in more than one of these.  That's okay.  Your pattern may also change depending on the task, your energy, your environment, your emotions, or what else is happening in your life. The goal isn't to find another label for yourself.

The goal is to become more aware of what is actually happening.

Pay Attention to When It Goes Right

There's another piece of awareness that we sometimes overlook. We tend to study the times when things go wrong.

Why couldn't I start? Why did I forget? Why didn't I finish?

But what about the times when you did do the thing?

What was different?

Maybe you had more energy that day.

Maybe someone else was nearby.

Maybe you had someone helping you troubleshoot or keeping you accountable.

Maybe the task was more interesting.

Maybe you had a clear deadline.

Maybe there was enough urgency that getting started suddenly wasn't so difficult.

Maybe you had already broken the task into smaller steps without even realizing it.

Those moments of ease contain information, too. We can learn from what doesn't work, but we can also learn from what does.

Once you begin noticing your patterns, you can stop treating every difficulty as a motivation problem.

Maybe you don't need more motivation. Maybe you need a smaller first step.

Maybe you don't need another reminder. Maybe you need help creating a transition.

Maybe you don't need to try harder. Maybe you need a way to recover when your carefully made plan gets interrupted.

And maybe, like the morning glory, you need to find something you can grab onto that helps you keep moving in the direction you want to go.

Awareness Before Action

Sometimes the first step toward change isn't doing something differently. Sometimes it's simply noticing.

Where do I usually get stuck? And when don't I get stuck?

Those questions can take us out of judgment and into curiosity. And curiosity gives us a place to begin. Sometimes identifying where you're stuck is easy. Figuring out what to do about it can be harder.  That's where coaching can help.

Through coaching, we can slow down the process, look at your patterns without judgment, and explore what might help you move forward in a way that works for you.

You don't have to force yourself to climb the way someone else does.  You just need to understand your own path a little better.

Supporting awareness, confidence, and courage.