An Alternate Valentine’s Day Approach: Learning to be your own Friend

Say the words “Valentine’s Day” and a wide range of emotions can surface—love, grief, joy, longing, sadness, and hope. For many people, it’s a complicated day that touches many different places in the heart.

This year, I want to offer you a different perspective on self-love and emotional wellness.

What if Valentine’s Day became an opportunity to strengthen your relationship with yourself? 

Not the “bubble bath and chocolate” version of self-care, but something deeper: true self-compassion rooted in self-awareness, honesty, and respect. I’m talking about learning how to be your own best friend.

What Real Self-Compassion Looks Like

Real self-compassion grows from knowing who you are when the masks come off and the roles are done for the day. When you’re tired. When you’re overwhelmed. When you’re at your best and at your worst.

It’s built on a solid foundation of:

• Knowing your values

• Understanding what matters most

• Recognizing your limits

• Honoring your emotional needs

• Practicing self-respect

This is what creates a healthy relationship with yourself.

My Journey Toward Self-Love and Alignment

In June of 2023, when I left teaching, I knew something was deeply out of alignment. My values and my environment no longer matched. I wasn’t showing up as my best self for others—and I wasn’t showing up for myself either.

I was exhausted, disconnected, and emotionally drained.

Since then, I’ve spent time learning, healing, and rebuilding my relationship with myself. With the support of therapists, coaches, trusted friends, my faith, and time for reflection, I’ve learned how to become more compassionate and grounded.

This personal growth didn’t happen overnight, and I didn’t do it alone.

Practicing Self-Compassion in Everyday Life

Learning to be kinder to myself has looked like:

• Setting healthier boundaries

• Prioritizing rest and sleep

• Taking my health seriously

• Getting outside to reset

• Speaking to myself with kindness

• Listening to my emotional needs

In other words, treating myself the way I naturally treat the people I love.

Being gentle with myself hasn’t been easy. I’m still learning. But self-compassion is becoming my default instead of self-criticism.

Understanding Yourself More Deeply

Through walking, journaling, reflecting, and trying new things, I’ve learned how I show up during both calm and stressful seasons. I’ve explored my patterns, my personality, and my neurodiversity.

All of this has helped me build greater self-awareness and emotional resilience.

I’ve learned to listen to myself with:

• Curiosity

• Patience

• Honesty

• Care

Just as a close friend would.

You Don’t Have to Do This Alone

If you often feel kinder to others than you are to yourself, you’re not alone. Many people struggle with self-worth, self-doubt, and emotional burnout—especially around holidays like Valentine’s Day.

And you don’t have to navigate it alone.  Having a supportive guide can make a powerful difference.

If you’d like help clarifying your values, understanding your patterns, and strengthening your relationship with yourself, I’d love to support you through personal development coaching and reflective work.

Learning to be your own best friend is one of the most meaningful investments you can make in your mental health and personal growth.

And this Valentine’s Day, you deserve that kind of love too.