Knowing Isn’t the Same as Being Able: A Winter Reminder

There’s a particular kind of frustration that shows up in winter — the kind that says, “I understand why this happens… so why am I still struggling?”   You’ve read the articles and reflected.  You often can name the patterns in your brain and nervous system with clarity.  And yet, the follow-through still feels heavy, inconsistent, or out of reach. If that’s you, this isn’t a failure of insight or effort. It’s a reminder that knowing brings awareness — not automatic capacity — especially in seasons when energy is low, and support matters more than discipline.

The “New Year ~ New You” push is on - it's in our social media feeds and our commercials, but more frequently than not, we do not need access to more things to do (or feel bad about not doing enough of) in winter.  Here in the Northeast, I spend more time in winter inside - going through things and organizing - but also wanting to create.  And yet, increasingly, I am aware that I also still need to get outside in these cold winter days, and the preparation for doing so takes longer and is less comfortable. Still, the gap and the internal pressure between knowing what I should do and what I actually do are there.   

That space in between doesn’t mean we’re failing to practice what we know. It means our capacity is shaped by season, energy, nervous system, and environment — not just intention. Winter asks more of us; there is less sunlight to regulate with, and more of a desire to stay warm and cozy inside.  When we pretend that effort doesn’t change with the season, we turn insight into pressure. For neurodivergent brains especially, the ability to act depends much less on wanting or knowing, and more on how supported, resourced, and regulated we are in that moment.  In times of transition — neurodivergent or not — the issue is almost never motivation. It’s capacity.

Ask yourself how you can work on accepting, surrendering even, to where you truly are.  You might notice where pressure sneaks in without your consent, or how your energy shifts with the length of daylight.  Seek out the support of a trusted friend, colleague, and/or professional, and know that sometimes support is permission.  Permission to choose fewer priorities, lower the bar on consistency, and trust that rest and rhythm are not signs of giving up, but ways of staying connected to yourself through the season.

This winter doesn’t need you to become someone new. It’s enough to notice what helps you feel a little more steady, a little more yourself — and to let that be the measure for now.  Your capacity will grow again, maybe as the amount of daylight lengthens and days warm up, or maybe just when the time is right for you. Until then, gentleness is not a detour from progress; it’s how many of us move through this season at all.

If this resonates and you don’t want to navigate this season alone, support is available.  I am ready and here to help you be your best in whatever this season has in store for you.